Cubs do the Hustle but Fail to Earn Disco Party

You know all that aggressive baserunning we were all crowing about Tuesday night? Well, even the sex appeal of the a nice pair of steals can fade quickly when the results are less than pretty. Anthony Rizzo attempting to stretch a single into a double and then a later caught stealing were the baserunning equivalent of two fried eggs hanging on a nail.

Perhaps he’d been spending too much time acting like Tony Manero at the team’s post-win disco celebrations, though I can’t imagine the 30-minute dance parties are really all that draining. Truth be told, I think the latest of Joe Maddon’s wacky ideas to generate camaraderie is actually pretty cool.

But you know what I like even better? The limitation on moping. Just as the Cubs are allotted half an hour to express their exultant joy through the art of dance, they have only as long to dwell on the bad games. I think fans would do well do take up the same practice.

That’s easier said than done when a loss is followed by an off day, but when you consider that each game is but .62% of the season I think 30 minutes is more than enough time to spend sitting in the ashes. Gerrit Cole was on point, throwing 95 pitches over 6 innings and giving up only 1 run on 3 hits, striking out 8 and walking 1.

The fact of the matter is that the Cubs still took 2 of 3 from a strong division rival — after taking 2 of 2 in Cincy — and are still sitting 4 games over .500. The name of the game is to keep winning series; take 2 of every 3 games and you’ll end up with 106.92 victories at the end of the season. I’m not sure what happens to those missing 8 hundredths, but I’m good with not following up on them.

So I’m not going to dwell on anything, but if I did choose to fixate on one aspect of the game it’d be the bases-loaded walk Kyle Hendricks issued to Starling Marte in the 5th. I can’t help but feel some sort of karmic blame for it after writing about the Cubs’ sterling K/BB ratio earlier today.

Part of the fun of watching a good team is simply not feeling the frequent need to throw things at the television, as was often the case with the Cubs. WHY ARE YOU WALKING THE BASES LOADED?! DON’T THROW THAT BREAKING BALL THAT YOU CAN’T GET NEAR THE PLATE WHEN YOU’VE THROWN 3 BALLS ALREADY!

This must be how Len Kasper feels every waking moment since, you know, he’s been directly responsible for the loss of at least one no-hitter. Or was it two? Damn you, Len.

In all seriousness though, this loss will be gone from my mind by the time I’m done typing, replaced by the memory of seeing the boys on my rookie Little League team smiling as they hit live pitches for the first time. And that’s saying something, since I practice an effectively wild pitching style.

20 games down, 142 to go. By my count, that means 94.92 disco parties totaling 2,847.6 minutes and 47.08 pity parties 1,412.4 minutes. But rather than spend any time wallowing, might I suggest taking in a few movies. In the time the Cubs will be allowed to mourn, you could watch Avengers: Age of Ultron 9.946 times (just skip the post-credits scene that 10th time).