If you’ve ever seen a lineup for a big music festival, you know that the headlining acts are listed at the top in large font with subsequent acts displayed in increasingly smaller text as their perceived level of importance dwindles. That’s all well and good when you’ve got some real bangers taking center stage, but what if your biggest performers are, like, Sonic Youth and Hole?
Instead of Lollapalooza, it’d be Lineupoflosers, which is what some folks were calling Perry Farrell’s brainchild when when it toured in 1995.
With all due respect for the Cubs’ social media team, which I think does a wonderful job in the face of a lot of criticism that people mistakenly direct at the actual team, the CubsCon lineup tweet is not a good look. The two biggest names belong to the president of baseball operations and the manager, followed by two Hall of Fame players and a Hall of Fame broadcaster. They don’t get to an active player until the third line.
Cubs players, legends, fans and more will converge this weekend at #CubsCon! Who are you most excited to see?
— Chicago Cubs (@Cubs) January 9, 2024
The whole thing quickly devolves into an eye chart for fighter pilots until finally reaching a conclusion that sees Rick Sutcliffe alongside Ryan Sweeney, Ryan Dempster, Tim Stoddard, and others. That may actually provide a little hope that this isn’t laid out strictly according to cachet, and perhaps it even signals a surprise or three.
As Taylor Swift/Hawkeyes superfan Dan Welter pointed out on Twitter, this would have been a perfect opportunity to sneak Sammy Sosa‘s name in there. If he was part of 2024 Cubs Hall of Fame class, that is, but it sounds like he didn’t make the cut. Buzz has also been growing around the possibility of signing an actual free agent at some point, so maybe Cody Bellinger will be in the building. Hey, a boy can dream.
Cubs Convention opens this Friday at the Sheraton Grand in downtown Chicago and tickets are still available because of course they are.