For Entertainment Purposes Only, Enjoy These Bryce-Harper-to-Phillies ‘Reports’

Photo of Evan Altman Evan AltmanJanuary 29, 2019

As the multi-directional tug-of-war to determine Bryce Harper’s landing spot drags, the strongest pulls of late have not been coming from the Yanks, but from Philly. People are executing the age-old trick of checking patterns of private flights from Las Vegas to Philly, and there have been unverified reports of Vegas odds on Harper’s new team being taken down.

But in this age of social media and everyone who knows anyone who knows anything being able to share their thoughts with the world, there are all kinds of funky little reports coming from corners of the interwebs. And though it’s easy to challenge the veracity of such claims, the tale of katyperrysbootyhole and wetbutt23 taught us that news really can be pulled from one’s metaphorical rear end.

Even the report of Tommy La Stella’s return from his leave of absence from the Cubs a couple years ago came from a picture of La Stella’s luggage with a destination tag that had been taken by someone’s dad or some such.

With that in mind, here are some tweets that definitively confirm Harper to Philly. Unless they don’t.

These tweets from MLB The Show got things started Monday night, though it may have all been a ploy to get everyone hyped for…a demo of the game featuring Bartolo Colon?

https://twitter.com/dosdos_/status/1090291222118367232?s=11

Now we come to the questionable part, since this is some seemingly random account with very few followers. The numbers, while incredibly robust given everything we’ve seen from the free agent market the last couple seasons, do line up quite nicely with the whole “swellopt” concept Scott Boras is so fond of. But wait, there’s more…

https://twitter.com/dosdos_/status/1090292370367758336?s=11

Same dude, but now we’ve tied back into The Show, which is actually an idea that was put forth a couple weeks back. It wasn’t taken seriously at the time, and maybe still shouldn’t be, but a gentleman by the name of Kevin Matuszak tweeted that Harper’s signing would coincide with the release of his “video game showcase.”

https://twitter.com/KevinMatuszak/status/1083193245218291713?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Then we’ve got this…

But they’ve probably got chyrons for several different alternatives, so this really isn’t definitive. Ah, but what about this…

https://twitter.com/long_drive/status/1089863786268446720?s=11

Interesting, no doubt, but the Phillies could have easily had those whipped up as part of a pitch to Harper. Again, far from definitive. When it comes to legit rumblings that go a little deeper than internet sleuths and rumor-mongers, the folks in the know don’t seem to know much.

All the wild claims and lack of reporting from major outlets aside, there is one tweet I came across that does lend a great deal of credence to the idea of Harper ending up in Philly…

Photo of Evan Altman Evan AltmanJanuary 29, 2019
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